So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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