It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
