Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize