if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We need a shit load of segways right now
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
