My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
being pregnant is like rehab
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
