dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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