I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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