I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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