But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
