You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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