Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize