I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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