worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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