My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
