GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
