RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
