Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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