Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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