Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
