$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
