I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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