you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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