I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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