so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
