party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
