I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
