I saw his package. It spoke to me.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
