Cold hands, warm shart.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize