eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
