why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
