So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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