I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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