Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
