return my video game
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Too much gin, very little bucket
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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