Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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