shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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