why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
