I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
