Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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