She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
how drunk are you?
Several
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
