You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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