We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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