weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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