The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
