Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
