Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
