hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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