wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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