that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
