My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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