So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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