It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
