It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize